Completed Limericks

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breakfast of champions, so they say.

extra Chick-fil-A sauce is a must

choose fun or safety

a morn dilemma

but I'll live to fight another day

spicy burrito with sweet ice cream

but within my belly they do scream

quick exit to slow

the sickening blow

hubris and gluttony has a price.

hey family, where are we going?

The big dog house is really boring!!

All day longSo I started snoring

but that is boring

tell me, where, oh where are we going?!

I'm a dog in the fog waiting for the light

this isn't the house I was at last night!

that box just ate stuff!

And I had a snuff

but at least my new bed feels just right.

They grabbed all my toys, and made much noise

Now that all my beloved toys were gone

so hungry and cold

I think I ate mold...

I'm in a poise,making noise i think I saw a fawn

so what if he's fat short and ugly!

He was barely even that chubby!!

And he could be huddy

but he's my buddy

Even though hes very, super grubby

he's not right in the head but he just needs meds

please mom and dad, please don't call the feds!

I love him today,

But I'm still in dismay

just you wait and see, we will get Weds!

He cheated and left me mistreated

And left m

I'm happy to help

Just don't call for help

Huddy is misleading me and now he will suffer

the oopy gloopy, thick black make-up

always caused jimmy his big break-ups

So easy he said

but heavy as lead

He drank his soda and acted up.

It's not normal she said while she tucked me in bed

just don't laugh because Grandma is dead

But I do chuckle

When I tighen my buckle

maybe I'm just not right in the head!

there once was a boy who still loved toys

He loved his toys the way he loved his boys

so bigly and strong

but wiggly and wrong!

The boys name was tory,tory loved his toy

Happy clowns are the scariest clowns

with their big shoes and creepy smiles

All the woman were alone

standing still as stone

because no one respected his nouns

There once was a vrigen cow named Shalsia in a kissa

sent her to the auction, won't miss ya!

She cried and soon died,

she went down a slid

but be careful because she'll diss ya!

There once was a bird that had a big beak

And he was a handy thing in a sleak

he can dance fancy!

But always prancy,

There once was a who sat on a meak and drank a eleak

I am a happy bird.

wood is Holz in German

Bears are really strong

jdjd

lk

wood is good

Bears are pretty strong

playing

k

kfifjd

yes, in the middle of surgery!

They ate all of the soft mercury!

just imagine that!

they then ate all cats?!

the truth will come out to the jury

ricky was a doctor but hated fog

all he ever wanted was to clog

but hated most cows

the smell of their mouths

reminded him of nasty dogs

my favorite food is Indian

but the cost has me spindlin in

but having no shame

He built up his fame

but it was just a waste in the end

Mick went to Rick and begged for a peg

he couldn't find one so he fled

but his cow needed a nail for mail

but he lacked a tail

So he went to buy a new bed

I haven't the first clue

whatever you desire dude

lame it's not good

sucky vlurry

test

lkjh

heur

oji

fgt

ljkh

hdhd

hjhj

hdhd

lkh

dgy

but if I tell, then it would be told

The kind of thing to make a man fold

He wants his mommy

Or friend named Tommy

Will slice you up like origami

Fat guys be walking ,stops all my breathin

I do not inhale, I'm no heathen.

Just maybe a whiff

Makes your lip go stiff

Like how you feel when you go theiven

I fear explosive diarrhea

I'd rather have gonorrhea

but if I'm honest...

Being so modest

I swear it's the shrooms! "Mama Mia"

Speaking in public is real scary

Waking alone naked and hairy

I've got a deep itch

son of a... dingleberry

Never give steak to the toothfairy

Sometimes, when I lay there, I hear it

And I think to myself, oh sh**

Nails on a chalkboard

A house full of hoard

just handle it with an oven mitt.

Sci-fi toiletries, keep the lights on

Late at night the all start to spawn

And I stay up until early dawn

Screaming on the lawn

Hopefully I love until dawn

reusable toilet paper, bro!

Never slows you when you need to go

Just pop a squat here

Like nobody's near

With your new robo go pro zero

The bum "whole" squeegee gets it all!

and by "all" I mean most of it.

For just the right price

Your heinie feels nice

Why don't you give me a call?

Got my rizzle stick laser nose pick

Sharper than the blorg tooth brick

its "eat off it" clean!

Will tickle your spleen

If you take a quick lick you'll be sick

You're going to love this new invention

It steals away all good attention

Look at me Bobby!

so soft and flobby

A place you'll never need a wrench in

A flush and a gush, gives you a rush

I'm talking about a new kind of brush

The kind you can flush

Shh, it's real hush hush

but do it quick or you'll make me blush! 😳

The portable TSA potty

An on the go way to be naughty

Yep, I said on the go

You tone deaf old hoe

Your cellphone service is real spotty

break me off a piece of that....

You better get back ya honky cat

Drop it like it's hot

Even though it's not

So he put a red cat on that hat

I'm welling up behind these eyelids

I wish that I could be like the cool kids

It's Mom's spaghetti

All over sweaty Betty

That's an image I can't get rids

Like a black fly in your chardonnay

I think it could eat a kid someday

alllll by my sel-ee-elf

Put it on the shelf

Cuz guess what? It's gonna be Maaaaay

If you want to destroy my sweater

You'll need to handle scissors better

Cutting and bleeding

but life is fleeting

Funny runs can be a trendsetter

D'you ever know that you're my hero?

Even though you are a zero!

And I would do anything

Like eating stuffing

a way down in the valley-O

You don't have to put on the red light

We're all gonna get in a fight

Some might even bite

Makes me feel alright

Puffing on this dooby all night

it's not so much the smell as the mouthfeel

Makes your mouth feel like it got a steal

Choc-o-late or poop?

Maybe a fruit loop?

Still slimy, but starting to congeal

Your hole smells like phosphorus.

I am sure that makes you prosperous

To keep your same pants

Do the naked dance

It actually might be unprosperous?

Your dog's butt stinks and I cannot lie

All you other shitzus can't deny

Itty bitty waist

Can't fight the great taste

You'll wish you had a lifetime supply

I once farted in an antique vase

I strained hard as sweat poured down my face

Grunting and squeezing

clenching and wheezing

You'll never clear the air from this space

He crop dusted me on the porch swing

The birds above died, they did not sing

Their eyeballs melted

Could have been smelted

all I know is, it just wants to cling 🤢

Cow pies can never replace taxes

Even though they both come from crackses

They're both pretty smart

If poop could make art

Once it's out there's no going backses

it's called "Bee" movie, but that ain't true

Because birds in this movie just flew

They had large talons

One was named Alan

Slowly sinking in the ocean blue

Ew, didn't mean for it to grow wings

and betcha didn't know that it sings

Yodle of the day

Twas a little cray cray

Oh what joy this movie will bring...s

Killer clown falls in love with Ware Wolf

It was how she smelled while playing golf

a swing and a miss

Don't forget to piss

And it ends with a dancing vampire

A wizard cast a spell on your mom

Went back in time and took her to prom

Gross man that's your mom!

don't take her to prom!

Take her to meet mom

Hear me out: a dinosaur pastor...

Who then became a kung fu master

Punched you in the neck

Oh my freakin heck

I would walk, but dancing is faster! 🤩

There once was a small town loiterer

He dreamt of being a troubadour

Just writing his poems

About creepy gnomes

They just want to go home

dark and gloomy, it's not just a phase

It will start your emo life and new name

Just don't grow a neard

Or a shaggy beard

Was hootin and hollering for days

Ugly brace face, I need some space.

back up now or I will use the mace

It will make me smile

Your skullet is vile

Seems like it's a little out of place

That's so sigma said the rizzly dad dad

Ew! he's trying to hard to be rad.

wishing to be phat

Get me the hazmat

We'll clean up this crap so mom ain't mad

Teens be awkward in the things they say

Spitting word garbage all the dang day

Spittin and sprayin

dabbin and slayin

Never stop throwing those pugs away K

There once was a las that was sus

He was embarrassed to ride the bus

Sitting in the back

Gosh I'm such a hack

I guess I'll just order Bust Must Plus!

Let the man know the plan for the love

But make sure that the mans not your cuz

That would be awkward

Like that kid named ferb

He's not a hard ass, he's a soft fuzz

No friends, no food, no birthday fun or joy.

Just a lonely girl maybe I should be a boy

But what would I do?

How would I poo?

All that I wanted was a new toy...

Alone, no one's home I ate the whole cake

Please do not ask me how long that takes

Embarrassingly fast

Oh no! what's that rash!

I want to scratch it with a rake

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